She looked refreshed as she walked past, ebulliently bouncing her way through but practically crossed with emotion-laden guilt, which though ate her very heart away, was suppressed knowingly with a wry smile, which she gave occasionally; wry smile.
I should have easily discovered that on time, at least since she greeted me before walking past, since I had become an authority; a sort of ; in this matters.
But her smiles were too active, even though wry; it covered up everything, like the white plaster of Washington D.C’s paint covers a deadly rot sepulcher; sepulcher.
Her emotions however speaking loudly and God working at the same moment to graciously save the last minute, she took step backwards and still with the smiles on her face, drew closer to say, waving at the same time “Hey! Mister, can I tell you something? ...and.. I hope you understand
“I want to commit suicide or kill myself, which is faster?”
She had prayed earlier that I do understand and now I just discovered the prayer ain’t working. She saved me the last minute of thinking when she suddenly broke down in tears
“First, I was raped constantly by my elder brother from the age of six, then followed by my father, and I wanted to die. Everyday was filled with sorrows for me: I was vulnerable, insecure and unsafe. Then, came this boyfriend of latter days and I considered him better since he was at least a different blood. We did it always in consent but it was a pity he never saw the pains hidden between my heart, the emotional instability inherent in me, the hate I feel for all men, including him. I managed him anyway, because he was at least from a different blood”
“My story is brief and concise. Boyfriend set me up and had me experience a gang rape from his friends; before driving me away. Now, this is not the main problem. The problem is, I have had two abortions, one for big brother before he went to jail for another offense and one for Daddy, before he died; four other abortions for boyfriend and one as an aftermath of the gang rape
“ Now, this is not the end of the matter. The truth is; I cannot forgive myself. I cannot think good about myself, I cannot even think of anything meaningful; what comes to my mind instead all the time I want to think is death and I sincerely wish to know which is faster between killing myself and committing suicide even though I know what both means. I have been diagnosed to carry a terminal disease, yet I feel it is better to end everything faster.
“I didn’t come for advice from you. I only wish to have another folk hear my story. But Mister, I have just one question for you;
Is it true that my destiny was actually meant to be this negative one?
Is it true that it had been destined before I was born that this was what my life would look like?
Mister, did the hand that wrote others great, did he purposefully decide to write me shame, sorrow, broken, sad, emotionally impaired and death?
And, will I still go to hell for taking my life since all these are not my fault?”
She had stopped crying and that made me to actually notice that her face was terribly swollen. Did she fight with a beast? She did not but I knew that it must be connected to her emotions.it was obvious there were so many more to know about her. had she not earlier stated to ask just one question before asking above three? Has she not asked about hell as if it mattered to her anything now?
I decided it was better to take her home and talk life back to her first, talk away the spirit of death from her, give her reasons to live before we begin to talk of how she can put the pieces of her life together again but she was reluctant to all my pleas
“I did not come to seek any advice from you” she kept saying “I only came to inquire: Which is faster between the two; to kill myself or commit suicide
I knew that such talks were also products of emotional imbalance and bruva, it took the special grace of God for her to actually listen to anything different.
A lot of folk have worse or similar stories and that is not my main worry. My headache is basically on the issue of destiny recovery. Some keep thinking it is their destiny to be laden with such issues but I simply say, please, wake up from such nightmares and seek out a better hope for yourself.
“It is not your destiny to be cut pieces by life”
“it is not your destiny to experience all kinds of molestation and disappointments”
“it is not your destiny to take your life because life is unfair”
“it is your destiny rather to wake up from your disappointments and seek for how to recover your destiny because your destiny is far greater than that which you think"
IT ALL STARTS WITH DISCOVERING THE DESTINY ARCHITECT AND RECOVERER WHICH IS JESUS CHRIST
gooddayall!“I WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE OR KILL MYSELF, WHICH IS FASTER?” (DESTINY RECOVERY)
She looked refreshed as she walked past, ebulliently bouncing her way through but practically crossed with emotion-laden guilt, which though ate her very heart away, was suppressed knowingly with a wry smile, which she gave occasionally; wry smile.
I should have easily discovered that on time, at least since she greeted me before walking past, since I had become an authority; a sort of ; in this matters.
But her smiles were too active, even though wry; it covered up everything, like the white plaster of Washington D.C’s paint covers a deadly rot sepulcher; sepulcher.
Her emotions however speaking loudly and God working at the same moment to graciously save the last minute, she took step backwards and still with the smiles on her face, drew closer to say, waving at the same time “Hey! Mister, can I tell you something? ...and.. I hope you understand
“I want to commit suicide or kill myself, which is faster?”
She had prayed earlier that I do understand and now I just discovered the prayer ain’t working. She saved me the last minute of thinking when she suddenly broke down in tears
“First, I was raped constantly by my elder brother from the age of six, then followed by my father, and I wanted to die. Everyday was filled with sorrows for me: I was vulnerable, insecure and unsafe. Then, came this boyfriend of latter days and I considered him better since he was at least a different blood. We did it always in consent but it was a pity he never saw the pains hidden between my heart, the emotional instability inherent in me, the hate I feel for all men, including him. I managed him anyway, because he was at least from a different blood”
“My story is brief and concise. Boyfriend set me up and had me experience a gang rape from his friends; before driving me away. Now, this is not the main problem. The problem is, I have had two abortions, one for big brother before he went to jail for another offense and one for Daddy, before he died; four other abortions for boyfriend and one as an aftermath of the gang rape
“ Now, this is not the end of the matter. The truth is; I cannot forgive myself. I cannot think good about myself, I cannot even think of anything meaningful; what comes to my mind instead all the time I want to think is death and I sincerely wish to know which is faster between killing myself and committing suicide even though I know what both means. I have been diagnosed to carry a terminal disease, yet I feel it is better to end everything faster.
“I didn’t come for advice from you. I only wish to have another folk hear my story. But Mister, I have just one question for you;
Is it true that my destiny was actually meant to be this negative one?
Is it true that it had been destined before I was born that this was what my life would look like?
Mister, did the hand that wrote others great, did he purposefully decide to write me shame, sorrow, broken, sad, emotionally impaired and death?
And, will I still go to hell for taking my life since all these are not my fault?”
She had stopped crying and that made me to actually notice that her face was terribly swollen. Did she fight with a beast? She did not but I knew that it must be connected to her emotions.it was obvious there were so many more to know about her. had she not earlier stated to ask just one question before asking above three? Has she not asked about hell as if it mattered to her anything now?
I decided it was better to take her home and talk life back to her first, talk away the spirit of death from her, give her reasons to live before we begin to talk of how she can put the pieces of her life together again but she was reluctant to all my pleas
“I did not come to seek any advice from you” she kept saying “I only came to inquire: Which is faster between the two; to kill myself or commit suicide
I knew that such talks were also products of emotional imbalance and bruva, it took the special grace of God for her to actually listen to anything different.
A lot of folk have worse or similar stories and that is not my main worry. My headache is basically on the issue of destiny recovery. Some keep thinking it is their destiny to be laden with such issues but I simply say, please, wake up from such nightmares and seek out a better hope for yourself.
“It is not your destiny to be cut pieces by life”
“it is not your destiny to experience all kinds of molestation and disappointments”
“it is not your destiny to take your life because life is unfair”
“it is your destiny rather to wake up from your disappointments and seek for how to recover your destiny because your destiny is far greater than that which you think"
IT ALL STARTS WITH DISCOVERING THE DESTINY ARCHITECT AND RECOVERER WHICH IS JESUS CHRIST
gooddayall!
:-d
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