The slap that changed my life for good! (fiction)

The slap that changed my life for good!

I always ate Mama Zipporah’s food with caution knowing full well the double dangers that awaited me from either Mama Zipporah or my own Mama. Mama Zippo’s always came in the form of clean a slap if in the course of eating her food, I say something nasty like things that negated her faith or things that concerned politics or some expressions she considered vulgar like “f..k mehn, jeez, o boy!” which I learnt in school.

Wonder why politics talks were included? Well, Mama Zipporah was a Jehovah Witness and everything politics irked her ears. They were simply not nice words since her faith forbade all that; everything politics or government was satanic and unacceptable as far she was concerned.

Mama’s own was always a simple temptation I always fell into. It was always irritating to her to find me eating food outside the house any day. She will simply fake a smile in the presence of whoever my host was and greet them as though nothing happened and of course, I would begin to panic knowing that the few minutes that will follow will say it all. And in the next one minute, I will hear “Chukwy”. That was the short form and pet call of my name, Chukwudi and mama used it in such cases to pretend to my host that nothing was still wrong. As soon as I enter the house stealthily, I would see mama standing with her cane and she hardly allowed me enter the house before she administered her lashes “How many times will I warn you to stop eating outside? Ehn? How many times?” but the incident would continue because the temptation will always come from the smell of Mama Zippo’s wonderful frying anytime Mama was away.

Well, today was a wonderful day. I received a not a single honour, not double, but triple. Mama Zipporah had cooked agharagha achicha (if you don’t know what that means, accept my apology) and while I ate, I allowed the oil to flow freely down my elbows, hoping to wash up quickly before Mama comes back. Just then, Obed and Elijah bumped into the house arguing hatefully. Wow! It was politics! No harm, I thought since they were Mama Zippo’s children .So, I joined in immediately, siding Elijah who was younger. He was arguing that the new government was not working and that if care is not taken, America will soon convince Buhari to legalize gay marriage but Obed was breathing out hot air against the former government calling them and all their supporters like Obed and me Tanoids the same way Nairalanders called them. Well, my woe came to me unaware. I was so engrossed in the discussion that I did not hear her coming. That bang on my head was the first sound I heard “How dare you? You will be eating my food and yet be saying the very things you know I hate” Her thunderous voice shook me and jerked me up at once to face her fiery eyes. Tears began to form. I thought there was no harm. After all, her children were saying the same thing. What was the difference? Well, I noticed it at once they were his children, not me”

But it was still painful. The lump of its pain in my chest was too heavy I forgot I had committed a sin against Mama and must not go home unwashed, in case she had come back. I bumped into the house crying loudly, ready to show anybody the injury Mama Zippo left on my forehead. It seemed Mama was expecting me to rush home in that manner after she came back and could not find me in the house.  She was simply standing near the fridge in the dining as though she was just ready waiting for me. She landed on me even before I entered the house with slaps and kicks and I wondered if she had won a karate belt before Daddy married her.. “How many times will I warn you to stop selling me ten kobo outside? Eh? Just look at your palms and elbow as though you have not eaten in the house ever before. Ehn? Is there any thing you lack in the house? Why must you choose to go and eat poor foods at the expense of all our rich foods here? Do you want to develop one sickness or the other?” I shouted and jumped about in pains expecting a rescue from anywhere. It was more painful even than Mama Zippo’s treatment that Mama would not hear me out.  Just then, I heard Papa’s footsteps and I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing that I will soon know safety. Papa started talking before he entered “Gboo, nwatakiri a, what is this I hear about you? How do you go about telling people that Buhari will soon sign gay marriage into law and that you will be the first to support him. Eh? Do you want to put me into trouble?

My mouth opened and refused to close but Mama’s also opened and shouted “Hey, where did this happen?”

“In Mama Zippo’s house and the woman said she had beaten him but I am not satisfied. I will need to beat him myself to enable him learn”

“Papa!” my mouth finally agreed to shout

Papa’s hand went up and came down on my cheek as he muttered “Your ancestors must not hear you mention that word  ‘gay’, not even to hear that you say you will support it. It is a taboo”

It was that slap of Papa that changed my life because my whole teeth gave way and I fainted after it was administered and I woke up days later to start writing this.

To be continued later….. (My novel is coming up very soon).